I don’t want to!

I don’t want to do anything! It’s been a long week, a hard week.  I want to just veg out for a couple hours, I deserve it.  But I can’t.  I have to pack, and  and write my article that’s due in a few hours.  I’m so tired!  

Emma broke her arm on Tuesday, falling off the monkey bars at school.  I love my little girl, but she made a hard week even harder.  Doctors visits, x-rays, a cast...bright pink of course.  Poor baby was in so much pain!  She came home crying on Wednesday, because she couldn’t play one handed.  The other kids signed her cast, but that didn’t seem to make it better.  She couldn’t play four-square, or jump rope, and definitely no climbing on the monkey bars!!

Thursday, her father blew in with the wind.  Unexpectedly of course.  He’s just like that.  I’ve grown used to it, but I wish I could have done better by Emma.  She doesn’t understand why breezes into town for a couple days, and then takes off again for another year.  Maybe I should have just told him he needs to stay or go.  But that would take some guts on my part, and i’m too exhausted.  He’s so infuriating!  He thinks he can come back whenever he wants, and make the rules.  No sir, that is not how that works!  I’m the mama.  I dealt with the broken arm, and the sad little girl who couldn’t play with her friends.  I’m the mean one that has to make her eat her broccoli, and go to bed.  You hang around, and you might get a say, but I’m the grown up here, I make the rules.

Yesterday my boss called, and said he would need my article a day early.  Oh, and by the way, there’s a story on the other side of the country that I need you to fly out and cover.  Great, thanks.  That all helps so much.  What do I do with Emma while I’m gone?  I certainly can’t leave her with her father, he would probably take off and leave Emma here by herself for 3 days.  No, it honestly wouldn’t surprise me.  Mom would love to watch her, but that would mean two plane rides there, and two back.  Why did I move so far away?  I just made life harder on myself.

Nick is outraged that I would fly Emma to my moms, when he is here and “perfectly capable of taking care of his daughter for a few days.”  He says it’s for real, and he’s sticking around this time.  How many times have I heard that before?  For some strange reason, I just don’t really believe him.  One of his friends will call tomorrow with a get-rich-quick-scheme.  And he’ll ride off into the sunset convinced that he’ll come back with enough money to “take care of his girls”.   Yeah, his confidence and charm are why i fell for him.  I realized quickly that he was all talk, but it was too little too late.  I was already pregnant with my baby.  He means well, he just doesn’t get it.

I wonder if Janette could watch Emma.  But who would watch her while she was at work?  Her slutty stripper roommate?  I think not!

What is Nick doing now?  I swear it’s like having two kids when he’s here.  Get off my computer! I need that for work!  It’s kind of my livelihood right now.  He’s buying a plane ticket?  I knew it, he’s gone already.  Glad I didn’t fall for his bullshit again!  Wait, what? Why do you want to know what my flight number is? Wait, you think you’re coming with us?  You want to watch Emma while I’m at work?  And then if you leave she’s alone in the hotel room in a big city by herself? Nope, I’m good, thanks.  I’ll take four planes so mom can watch her.  Much preferred. Have a nice life.  You can be on your way now, we have this covered. Ugh, why is he not dropping this?  I’m so tired, and so worn out.  I don’t have the energy to fight with you.  Please just go, it’s so much easier when you’re not here.  Why are you packing?  No, it’s not final!  I have the last say!

Why did I agree to this? I won’t be able to concentrate, I’m so scared he’ll leave.  Maybe the hotel has a daycare, just in case?

I can’t believe it.  He stayed the whole time!  He made us dinner, and took care of Emma.  Thank you so much for your help, I can see you’ve grown up some.  You can be on your way now, I understand that you’re still you.  Don’t worry, I’ll explain it to Emma...I always do! Say what?  A job and a house?  Your scheme worked out this time? You’re staying?  I hope she doesn’t get her hopes up too high.  You’re so convincing, I almost believe you myself...