Mouse

Every few months my mom orders book character costumes from the publishers, and I get to prance around inside the costumes during story time, and hang around after for hugs and pictures.  I’ve even made a signature for each of the characters I’ve been, so I can sign books for kids.  Two or three days before each character appearance, I start dreading it.  It’s like being stuffed in a gym bag. Except..gym bags get washed every once in awhile.  Today, I got to be the mouse from “If You Give a Mouse a Cookie”  Mid May in southern California, and being stuffed in a smelly mouse costume aren’t a great combination.  

An hour before story time I start putting my costume on.  First the fur shirt, and then the overalls that weigh more than some of the kids downstairs.  Of course you have to have the feet, gloves, and the head the size of a yoga ball.  The fan inside the head is broken of course, they all are.  I think it must be some sort of costume rule.  While getting dressed, I often wonder what the characters at Disney Land do.  I hope they have air conditioning, and a cooler of beer in there.  

Mouse somehow manages to get downstairs in his getup, without falling and breaking his neck.  Which is good, we don’t like dead book characters.  I wander outside for a minute to see if I can catch any kids walking by that want to come to story time with the mouse.  Almost everyone that walks by, adults included, want a picture with the mouse.  This is fine, I just wish I had more of a view than just out of the mouth.  Sometimes I accidentally step on kids trying to get a picture with me, cause I have no idea they’re there.  Can I get some mirrors on this thing, for my blind spots...which is everywhere.

The storytime fairy arrives, and it’s time to get started.  She picks out a few Laura Numeroff books, including a couple that have “me” in them.  She sits in a chair in the corner of the kids section, I stand next to her, and mime all the actions as she reads the story.  The kids love this, they laugh and giggle, and copy me.  It’s cute!  But now, like everyone else wearing the costume before me, I start to sweat inside the completely fur encased costume.  It runs down my forehead and burns my eyes.  I can’t wipe my face of course, because my hands are stuffed in mouse gloves, and I have no access to my face inside the giant mouse head.  So I blink through it, and keep on miming.  

A little girl in the corner keeps trying to get my attention, so I stop miming and wave at her.  She’s cute in her white dress with three little red roses sewn on the collar, and matching red ribbons in her hair.  I count down the minutes until I can get out of this thing, and swear I’ll never do it again.  It smells like Michael Jordans socks!  Every once in awhile, a small breeze gets through the mesh mouth, and there’s a moment.  Just a moment, where it’s ok.  Just in that moment, I can breathe, and it’s not quite so hot in there. Then the moment passes, and I’m once again in hell.  Which at this moment, happens to be inside a mouse.  Last time it was the Grinch Who Stole Christmas, and The Very Hungry Caterpillar.  

Story time is over, and it’s time for hugs and pictures.  Kids line up one one side, waiting patiently for their turn, and parents with their phones on the other side.  It’s quite the ordeal.  Sometimes I worry a little that parents will think i’m a pervert, hugging all these kids.  Maybe I’m still just a little traumatized from the creepy Elmo I met on Hollywood Blvd in.  At the end of the line is the little girl in the white dress that kept trying to get my attention during story time.  She’s pretty tiny, so I kneel down so she can hug me.  She hugs me, and waits for her parents to take the picture.  When she pulls away, she says “I love you mouse!  You’re my best friend!” I feel like the guy from the meme’s that starts crying when he sees cute kittens.  Ok kid, you have my heart, I’ll do whatever you want!  

All the kids are gone now, and I take one more sweep outside to say hi to the dog next store at starbucks, that doesn’t quite know what to think of me.  

“Oh, thank god you’re still here!” Says the dad that comes to every story time with a character.   I had wondered where they were. “I drove like crazy to get here, so glad we made it in time!”  His little girl nods.  

“Yeah!” She agrees, “He did!”  Oy, poor kid, glad you’re all still alive!  “I drew you some pictures mouse.” she says.  Yup, I’m the meme guy again.  I kneel down again to give her a hug, and take the pictures she drew for mouse.  I put my hand to my chest to show my gratitude in all my mousey mimey-ness.  It’s hard to express some things when your head is made of cardboard and fabric, and your expression never changes.  I take the pictures from her, and put my hand to my mouth and mime blowing her a kiss.  She doesn’t get it.  I hold the drawings up so dad can take a picture of us.  I spend a few more minutes with them, but my face is starting to itch, and I gotta get out of this thing!

I eventually make my way back upstairs, and start peeling away the layers of my own personal gym bag hell.  I finally get all the pieces off, and I’m completely drenched in my own sweat, but I don’t care.   A couple hours in the costume was worth it, to make these kids so happy.  

Costume removed, I go back downstairs.  The little girl that drew the pictures for  mouse is still there.  I smile and wave at her.  She looks at me like I’m creepy.  Oh yeah, I remember, I’m just me now.